A 12 Step programme requires rigorous honesty with one’s self. If you try to cut corners you may be starting a process that leads to relapse. People leave rehab early for a number of different reasons, and for some of the
Consider the following list of ‘sabotage thoughts’ that patients in relapse have tackled:
- I’m just out of detox and I feel better. I’ll just go home because I know I can handle it now.
- I can’t really be an addict, there are people in rehab who are way worse-off than me.
- I don’t want to deal with the my issues. It’s too negative and depressing.
- My life has been so horrible it’s no wonder I behave like this, I will always feel this way.
- It’s boring here, there’s not enough to do.
- It’s too busy in rehab, I thought it would be more relaxing.
- I don’t like this treatment centre, I was envisaging more of a hotel or spa.
- I’ll keep doing things the way I always have, because I know best and can manage.
- I’m finding that I’m spending a lot of time in rehab listening to other people’s problems, it’s not relevant to me.
- I don’t let my family come to family therapy – it’ll save them emotional pain.
- I don’t need to completely stop drinking – I just want to control it.
- I know the words ‘one day at a time’. These are good words but they don’t apply to me.
- I know more than my therapist, especially about me, there’s nothing new they can teach me.
- I’ve learnt enough, I know about the steps and lots of things about AA/NA.
- Other people aren’t taking their programme seriously and they seem to be doing ok.
- My children really miss me, they won’t be doing well without me there.
- I need to hide my feelings and experiences. I’m scared that if I don’t other people might not like me.
- I don’t need to work, my therapist is working hard enough for both of us.
- I’ve learnt enough and I know I’ll never use again – I’m leaving early!
How can you deal with self sabotage? As with all recovery, honesty is the keyword.
Look at yourself, listen and ask for help. Remind yourself why you are in treatment and think of how it was before. Remember pride; it stops you listening to others, asking for help or relating to others. Learn to challenge your thoughts. Remind yourself again of what sabotage is: a misguided attempt to deal with negative thoughts by providing a quick solution. Don’t let it happen.